Kung-Fu Movie 2

Kung-Fu Movie 2: Before Edition is the prequel to the proto-Hats film Totally Real Kung-Fu Movie, part of the larger and loose Kung-Fu Movie trilogy and larger canonical universe centering around a "bad guy" and a wandering samurai caught up in the main debacle against his will. What links this film with the rest of the trilogy is the fact that the character Samurai is the great-grandfather of Samurai F, the main character in Kung-Fu Movie 3: The Art of Gun-Fu

Synopsis
The film begins with a traveling old man who is pulling a basket that hold his treasure chest. He is suddenly assaulted by an armed assailant, and the old man warns him of the dark power contained in the jewels before the old man throws what seems to be a Sonic the Hedgehog figurine, which promptly kills the assailant.

Many years later, a man unrelated to the incident is digging his spice garden. While digging, he discovers the treasure chest the old man spoke about earlier. He opens it and is entranced, then vilified as he belts out a nefarious laugh. There is now an elderly Russian woman walking down the street when the Spice Gardener merely taps her a few times, but the dark power of the crystals violently kill her as she collapses. The Gardener laughs as he runs away, highly amused by her death. His joy is short, as he is called by his master to come to his secret impenetrable fortress that just happens to be right next to the gardener. The Master's fortress is a cluttered room while blasting Lego Ninjago music. The treasure chest is returned, and he rejoices in this.

Not too long after, a Samurai arrives, announcing his return to a different master, who is the old man from the beginning. He asks for the Samurai to return the box that he once had years ago, and the Samurai accepts this new task. To gain information on this, the Samurai reads a blurry news report and decides to find the Gardener. Meanwhile, the Old Man is looking for his suitcase as he prepares to vacate. This is short-lived, however, as a masked assassin, who was certainly not shoehorned into the plot at the last minute, stabs the Old Man to death.

The Samurai comes across to two royal guards, one only telling lies and the other only truths. While they fight, you can audibly hear maniacal laughter, as I guess this is the music. Hijinks ensues in a slight kerfuffle. They are killed and the Samurai proceeds to the next area, a dark room with a sort of sphinx-like gumball machine with a human body, who utters what was once the topical meme "Burger King Foot Lettuce". Samurai kills the gumball machine and obtains the key that laid inside it. This angers the Gardener, who now wields a mop. The Gardener chases the Samurai outside, which is when the cameraman decides to be cold and chatters his teeth audibly as the two fight. The Gardener is killed and the Samurai takes the key to the chest. He is bewildered by the contents in it, and closes it, only to find a box which says "FAKE CHINA" which makes the Samurai lose all hope in humanity, as he kills himself by hitting his forehead with a gun.

Trivia

 * The laughter heard in the fight scene is a compilation of Stampy the Minecraft YouTuber laughing.
 * In the fight scene between the Gardener and the Samurai, the editor/cameraman writes "I apologize for the heavy breathing I was freezing" even though he could have...not done that.
 * The connection between the Kung-Fu Movies is highly contested. Many fans of Li’l Hatz suggest a theory that all of the Samurai in each movie are the same person. This theory, however, is contradicted by the interview given by Ryan Winzen in the December 2019 issue of Playboy Magazine. Winzen claims that the trilogy depicts a family lineage, with Samurai F being the last in a long line of samurai.
 * This movie is known for predicting the death of rapper XXXTentacion as his name is visible during the scene of the samurai watching the news.