Characters from Kung-Fu Movie 3: The Art of Gun-Fu

This is a list and description of all the characters that appear in Li'l Hats' Kung-Fu Movie 3: The Art of Gun-Fu

Samurai F
It is unknown what the "F" in is name stands for. Maybe it's Froman, maybe it's Frankfurter. Nevertheless, he is the descendant of the samurai in the first two movies of the Kung-Fu Movie trilogy. He started out as a wanderer on the streets, but he always found trouble lying in his path, so he decided to retire to a life of hermitage in the forests of Missouri. It is also unknown of his birth date, due to the destruction of birth records in 2007’s Great Fire, and of his death date, due to his sudden disappearance. It is most likely he died in May of 2070, when Earth was destroyed by nuclear armageddon.

Francis Come
The main antagonist of Kung-Fu Movie 3, he was the leader of the notorious crime syndicate, the Doggy Town Krew. He had close confidante, General Giggles, along having his androgynous slave, Turban Man. Francis Come was known for disliking those who use Gun-Fu against him, and for not wearing a shirt, even when the air is frigid. He was born March 3, 1971 on an American Air Force Base outside of Sheffield, England. He founded the Doggy Town Krew in 1995 in Dogtown, St. Louis, but mainly ruled over Ballwin, taking advantage of its ravaged situation. He was killed by Samurai F and General Giggles during the events of the film.

Mo/Construction Chris
Mo was born around the years of 1964-1971 in the British hideout of Gansu Province, China. He abandoned his family to live in a monastery up until his departure for the United States in 2002, which is when he learned of the art of Gun-Fu. During his time in the U.S., he spent his time as a hermit in the woods, where he would occasionally eat leaves and throw glass bottles at passer-byes. He taught Samurai F Gun-Fu, but only to use it for good, which F doesn't. Subsequently, Mo also was working for Francis Come under the alias "Construction Chris" who can only build stuff. He reveals his true identity to Samurai F near the end of the film. Mo is shot to death by Come and Giggles.

General Giggles
General Giggles was born Zekeriah Zrawhk, or Zek, in a mysterious life-sized gingerbread house in the forest of Minnesota on January 17, 1992. He quickly moved to Ballwin in 1994 , right before the War tore the city apart. In 2010, Zek was one of the supposed victims of the killer in The Martin House, but he managed to escape his grasp and soon he adopted the new name of Geronimo Giggles, and became a high-ranking General in the People's Liberation Army, the Communist militia of America. His expertise was noticed by Francis Come, who lured him in with the promise of guns, drugs, and sex. This was never fulfilled, so Giggles turns against Francis, and helps Samurai F kill him. Giggles dies on February 29, 2024 from his assassination by Communist revolutionaries.

Sam Jones
See Sam Jones

John PoopyMcDickbutt
Born March 15, 1986, John gets his name from his male prostitute father. Throughout his time in school, he was constantly teased and marginalized for his odd name. Nonetheless, John spent some of his early adult years on the streets working for A Pimp Named Slickback. He managed to escape his grasp when he was hired by the FBI, which is when he collaborates with Sam Jones in hiring Samurai F to destroy the Doggy Town Krew. John died from dysentery on the toilet June 20, 2028 in Omaha, Nebraska. He is typically seen as a prime example of "Rugged Individualism".

Turban Man
Born in Turban Town, Illinois, on August 21, 1991 to an eccentric family that only wore turbans, Turban Man was one of the first people to work for Francis Come, as he was his janitor since he was only 14 years old. At 18, he became the main servant to Francis, which pretty much meant secretary, as would be seen, he brings in all of the candidates for the Gun-Fu program. Despite that, he is not important for the Doggy Town Krew's survival, and is killed by Samurai F's bullet in slow-motion.

Arms Dealer Arnold
Born October 13, 1973 in Beverly Hills, California, Arnold Arnoldsen was born to two wealthy Icelandic immigrants. He lived a life of privilege up until his high-school graduation, which is when he took an affinity for weapons. He sold millions of dollars-worth of arms to Black Panthers and Skinheads across the country, but the money never lasted because he was addicted to Bee-Crack, which is crack cocaine mixed with beeswax. He is known to wear a large trench coat, which is stuffed with guns, along with bee-themed glasses and hats to hide his addiction, and for prolonging firefights just "for the hell of it". Arnold died at the hands of Samurai F and Mo.

Jim Jungles
Born somewhere around Gujarat, India to imperialist American colonists disguised as humanitarians in 1993, Jim's parents were taken to Pancott Temple, near India, never to be seen again, so he was left to the care of the local wildlife, which were birds and stingrays, so he was able to understand bird calls and some human speech. He emigrated to the U.S. in 2011, with hopes of finding a job, but was only able to work for organized crime groups as their maid, doing only menial tasks. He was barely recruited by the Doggy Town Krew in 2012, but shortly died from a fatal elbow drop by Arms Dealer Arnold.

Steak n' Shake Sheryl
Created in the Steak n' Shake headquarters in San Antonio, Texas in 2001, She was created in an underground lab to be a sentient, efficient Steak n' Shake humanoid creature that aged fast. But, she also gained full consciousness and self-awareness and went postal, killing 32 Steak n' Shake employees. She later underwent gender reassignment surgery in a back alley of Houston, Texas. She was later used by the Doggy Town Krew for their fights that they have people bet on. Sheryl was later killed by a police shootout in Woodward, Oklahoma in 2015

Harold
Not much is known about Harold, except for the fact that he is the fourth cousin five times-removed of Roald Amundsen, the first man to reach the South Pole. He is seen before the fight between Arms Dealer Arnold and Samurai F and Mo, when he loudly exclaims how his husband left him.