Kreepy Karl (Film)

Kreepy Karl is a film made by Li'l Hatz productions. The film is a 2001 documentary following a demon named Karl, who goes on an adventure with 2 socially rejected pre-teens. The film is famous for its incredibly long and difficult production.

SCENE 1
The film begins on two social rejects, Billy and Jack, who express their boredom. They do not find any interest in video games or anything for that matter. To their luck, or rather un-luck, A demon wearing an Uncle Sam hat knocks upon their door. Billy opens it, but promptly closes it after the demon reveals himself as Kreepy Karl. However, Karl is persistent on breaking in, so he appears in their basement through the backdoor. Billy tries getting help form his mother. Fortunately, she doesn't care and ignores his pleas, and Karl takes Billy's phone and shoves it down his pants. Karl wants to hang out with Billy and Jack, but they claim they have to retrieve a stolen game from an even more rejected friend of theirs, Rick Berman.

SCENE 2
Upon arriving at Rick's house, which is suspended in a tree, Karl starts following them, but Billy commands him to stay behind. Billy and Jack find Rick, who is crouched over a bag of Skylanders, whilst donning a strange dragon hat. They ask Rick where there game is, but he only answers in incoherent, high-pitched whines. Rick finally tells them that he shall only give them their game back if they guess his favorite Skylanders from the bag. Billy and Jack try guessing, but only end up failing, with each incorrect attempt answered with Rick's high-pitched screams. Karl appears behind Rick and starts beating him with a bat until he ends up in a bloody mess on the ground. They return home with Rick's bag. As they open it, they manage to find the game that was stolen from them.

SCENE 3
Karl suggests to Billy and Jack to head to his secret clubhouse with him. As they are trying to get to there, they are stopped by Chester the Molester, Ballwin's local child molester and arch-rival to Karl. Before he could kidnap Billy and Jack, Karl tackles him to the ground, warning him that the continuation of his actions will cause a repeat of the events that transpired in Miami in 1995. As Karl and the children are walking away, two Russian police discuss how they look like the same people in Miami in 95', and decide to police Karl. Then, it cuts to Chester, exclaiming his contempt towards Karl, and how he will get his revenge from Miami in 95'. Then Chester tries, albeit with difficulty, to kidnap a child that was walking by.

SCENE 4
Karl, Billy, and Jack are walking through a rain drain and Jack expresses his irritation, believing that they aren't going anywhere. They emerge from the tunnel and arrive at Karl's secret clubhouse, but to their surprise, Chester jumps into view and claims the children as his property, but is interrupted by the Russian Police, who try arresting Karl and Chester. Then, a bunch of other people jump into few, including but not limited to: Coke King, Strange Man #1, Strange Man #2, and Clovis. Soon, a deadly, brutal, and very overexposed firefight begins, but soon everyone is in a stalemate with each having a gun against each others' heads. Finally, the actual police intervene, gunning down Coke King, and arresting Karl and letting Billy and Jack return home to their families, but one of the police officers decides to also shoot Billy, leaving him for dead.

SCENE 5
Kreepy Karl is reading to a group of children, and Karl tells of how the preceding story is the reason for his arrest by the Police, and further tells of them his belief that Jesus was of African-American descent, and that the moral of the story he told, of his misadventures with Billy and Jack, was that homosexuality is a poor choice. Suddenly, behind Karl, G.R.R. Martin appears, claiming that the whole film is his intellectual property, a ripoff of his ''Game of Thrones. ''Martin then proceeds to beat everyone with a baseball bat.

Reception
Kreepy Karl was very well received by critics and audiences alike, with the movie grossing ﷼42105 In Iranian Rial in the box office, compared to its zero Rial budget

One of the greatest appraisers of the film was the Moldovan newspaper, Press Obozrenie, and Li'l Hats fan magazine, The East Bolan.

Trivia

 * Filmed in March of 2001, the film took over 17 years to be released to the public, due to it being lost within the Vatican City Archives, after being confiscated by Pope John Paul II because of its alleged "Blasphemous Nature"
 * The film was recovered November of 2018 after a Rainbow Six Siege-Style raid on the Holy See
 * The film was endorsed by rapper Lil Skies in his banger "Creeping", which featured Rich The Kid
 * It is theorized that the original rough draft of the Kreepy Karl screenplay was written by Franz Kafka, with him finishing around February 12, 1914. This has not been confirmed true.